Sharing

Cramming Insurance. Have no clue what to expect with that. I hope he doesn't expect 50 pages per question. Moisturizing my cuticles. Burt's Bees Lemon Butter Cuticle Creme. Smells lemony. Going to try the new nail polish. 320 Rapid Ruby. I got it because it reminded me of blood. Should probably use a base coat.

Random songs listened to:
The Show by Lenka
Silence by Olivia Broadfiled
Brain Stew by Greenday
Right Angles by The Paper Raincoat (I so want their cds but can't finf them!)
Fingerprints by Katy Perry


One exam away from seeing the stars at night, having real food fixed for me, and reading books that are fun.

Pudding for Brains

"Do not believe that he who seeks to comfort you lives untroubled among the simple and quiet words that sometimes do you good. His life has much difficulty... Were it otherwise he would never have been able to find those words." ~Rainer Maria Rilke (1875 - 1926)

So the Wills exam was today. It. Was. Bad.
Afterwards, I saw some classmates' comments about the exam on fb. I remembered this quote. Sometimes when I look around, I just see a bunch of people who seem to be breezing through while I struggle. There's a part of me that realizes that not everyone is perfect, but there is also a part that feels like they are while I'm not. Anyway, it's good to take a step back sometimes and realize that other people have problems too, you're not the only one who is confused, and while some people may be better than you at some things, you're better than they are at others.

Just breathe.

signs

When the disire to go over and throttle someone becomes this strong, I think it's time to change scenery.

How Inconvenient

I have too much to take in/learn/memorize/understand/whatever with Wills. For some reason, when I get too wigged out/ anxious about something most of the time I react by getting sleepy. Which of course is NOT helpful. Boo.

quick update

Going to be very vague b/c there are a lot of things here I don't really want to share too publicly and some things I'm just not at a point where I can really discuss them.

So last week was the long, horrible week from Hell. TG break was nice but not enough plain relaxing like I needed. Then Monday I had a big presentation type thing to do. When I got back to the apt. there was horrible news. The rest of the week was then spent trying to keep it together, not break down in class, and work on final trial. I didn't really sleep last week. The quiet before going to sleep basically made me think and upset me so I couldn't sleep and I didn't want to have that time for my mind to wander. I really don't do well on low sleep. Long story shortened, everything from the week just hit me like a ton of bricks in the middle of the trial. It was a horrible horrible plane crash that would have been painful to watch even if you had no clue what was going on. I just couldn't concentrate, couldn't care, could barely keep it together so I didn't just sit on the floor and cry. Made it to the end and then the car before I broke down.

Anyhoo, that was then. It happened, I can't change it, I need to move on and focus on the upcoming exams.

There's so much more, but not going to make the blog.

Who Needs Sleep?

I was so proud of myself for getting to bed before 12. Then I woke up at something around 3. I'm not sure because I was convinced that if I looked at the clock, I wouldn't be able to sleep. After a while, I couldn't sleep and looked at the clock and it was 3:30. Still couldn't sleep. Finally gave up around 4:30. Sadly I'm not being very productive.

I am tired of Petrillo.

tired

It seems like no matter what, there's always a big assignment hanging over my head. It makes me feel tired. Even after a break, it's tiring because it's always there in the background. Blech.

ohhhh

Thanksgiving - good - lots of yummy food, parental units and pups
My first black Friday - meh. In the future, probably won't do the 5am thing but might hit department stores around 10.
My productivity level waaay too low. Oral argument's going to be horrible and trying not to let final trial weigh me down until after oral argument.



So, more details later and now I try to be productive and cram.

saw it on a flair

something to the effect of:
After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar goes WTF

Bleep!

I've finally achieved enough distance from my Ap Ad paper to find a lot of mistakes and areas for improvement that I totally missed before. Bleep!

New Moon

Not as bad as I thought it would be. I would have liked the Voluri drawn out a bit more. As usual I have issues with the casting and for some reason Alice just was not Alicy in this one. The whole Edward in a suit almost everytime you saw him kinda aged him a bit.

music

I have finally discovered Pandora radio. LOVE IT. I mean I kept hearing about it but never tried it. Wow.

Music

I think I should have no other mortal wants, if I could always have plenty of music. It seems to infuse strength into my limbs and ideas into my brain. Life seems to go on without effort, when I am filled with music.
George Eliot (1819 - 1880)

"Music is my hot hot sex. "
~ CSS

Ah, music. A magic beyond all we do here!
J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, 1997

I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.
Woody Allen (1935 - )

"Music is what feelings sound like."
~ ?

“Words make you think a thought. Music makes you feel a feeling. A song makes you feel a thought.”
~ E. Y. Harburg


“Where words fail, music speaks.”
Hans Christian Andersen quotes

Want Sleep!!!!

Urg, didn't "finish" the stupid paper until late and then couldn't sleep so I got like an hour sleep this morning, an hour nap after class. I just want to nap not go to another class. I hope the class gets out early. Really, I might just crash as soon as I walk through the door and just not get up again until tomorrow. I hate how all-nighters mess up my sleep schedule. So sleepy and non-functional but can't sleep. Boo!

proof reading

I know I'm not perfect with the whole proof reading thing, but I get annoyed with some people. If you're highly placed in an organization and are sending a mass e-mail out to others in that organization, oh, AND you've lectured others on proof reading, then would it kill you to proof read your e-mails? Or at lease have one of your lackeys do it?

somedays

One of those days where everything would be better if I could just go back to bed and sleep until tomorrow. Sadly, I have far too much to do. Seriously, if I pass this class, it's going to be a pity pass. (But I'll take it!)

nap

It's cold and rainy outside. I haven't been sleeping much. I want a nap. I know it sounds cranky, and I am, but it's the truth.

Cranky

I'm cranky and violent in the morning. . . I knew that but this morning it's becoming clearer how much so.

Think me imagining flicking a pen and having it go at least half-way deep in someone. For example.

Here fishy fishy

What with staring at the computer screen all day, lack of sleep, and dry winter creeping in, I suffer dry eye. So, figuring what the hey, I'm trying fish oil capsules. I'll give it two weeks and see.

just breathe . . .

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain. "
~Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear.

Frank Herbert, Dune

From Me to Me

To celebrate my birtday this week, I am skipping a class that causes me a great deal of stress and treating myself to a yummy from Montana Plain. Any further celebrations will have to wait until the exam frenzy is over.

Anyone out there want to write my paper for me? That'd be nice!

funny!

Taylor Swift's SNL monologue. Funny!

Need motivation

I'm in a bad cycle. I don't want to get up because I can't sleep because I don't get up until late because I can't sleep because I don't get up until late . . .

Not fun.

also

They need to play more The Paper Raincoat. If you don't know who I'm talking about, look them up on youtube.

music

So. . . is it bad that I like this song? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JltC3ek0MBw

My GPS arrived

In the process of unpacking it, I found an "alco-prepr" "pre-injection cleansing swab" probably to clean the glass before putting the suction cup thingy on the windshield, but still. . .

I just realized . . .

I think part of my problem with this assignment is that it goes against four years of training in the opposite direction. . . opps!

my amazon order

Okay USPS, I know you have it. Now, I just have to be here whenever you decide to randomly show up and hand it over so I don't have to wait until Monday to drive all the way to the office. Bring it.

good faith is

Good faith is a warm heart and empty head.

!!!

http://viennateng.com/tour/

Quick! What am I doing around April 17th?!?!?!

whiney

I'm whiney today.

I don't wanna!!!
Don't wanna do homework! Don't wanna have to get ready for tomorrow!

I think it's the whole big bad day after the weekend type of thing.

snippets

creme brulee candy corn - yummy

The course listings are out. My goal is to have classes done by 6. This whole not getting back until late half the time messes with my sleep schedule which is already easily messed up. I'm disappointed. I was expecting more. It's pretty much the same as last spring semester. I thought there would be more since we have new professors. I might have three day weekends again. Turns out that does more harm than good. I refuse to take the intensive. I'm intensived out and if things go well I might get to spend more time home this break. I miss being able to see the stars. Anyway, I want to be done with school so I have time to do my work and settle down to go to sleep at a decent hour.

GPS

So the parentals are willing to get me a GPS. I haven't the foggiest clue where to begin or what I like. Feel free to help.

clue into my future

Hmmmm. . . what area of law doesn't require me to write more than my name. . . I'm thinking that might be an area worth looking into.

food

You know when you're hungry but you don't want anything you have in the house and you don't want to go out? Or maybe it's in the house but you don't feel like going through the effort?

structure

I'm not the biggest fan of lots of structure, but I realize that I do a lot better with it. So while I don't love it, I like the results with it better than without it.

Making Things Interesting

Regualr: I would like to have fresh mint in the winter so I want to bring my mint plant inside. I tried that and the plant started turning yellow. I think I will look into getting a grow light for it.

Interesting: I think I need a grow light for my fragrant herbage.

I Find Drama Wearying

So the drama is practically resolved. The whole story will have to wait for my memoirs.

And It Was A Lead Ballon

You know how you're so careful and then you make a mistake? Not any mistake, noooo, a spectacular mistake. The type of story you see on random news shows, and you're like, "How could they have been so stupid?" Well, it's very easy to be that stupid actually.

A simple sorry didn't fix it. (Of course, b/c that would just be too easy.) So I'm going to have to have a long sit down with the person. I wouldn't be surprised if some remedial action was taken. I sent a more explanatory apology in a letter form. I'm so horrible with extemporaneous speaking especially when I'm nervous so I thought maybe the letter would help mitigate any further foot-in-mouth incidents in the sit-down. To make matters worse, the sit down is a ways away. So maybe they'll be more forgiving (probably not), but it'll be hanging over my head. Sometimes I really do prefer to rip the band-aid off. Get things out, apologize, see what I need to do to make amends, do that, move on.

*sigh* It wasn't that big, just certain circumstances made a bad into a horrible. I know I made a mistake. I know that. I want to move on.

Arghh! Me and My Big Mouth!

Part of why I try to keep my mouth closed is because it gets me in trouble. During a time of frustration I sent an e-mail to someone close to me who knows when I’m just letting off steam. Sadly my luck’s been thin and I committed a major business faux pas. Yep, didn’t double check the “to” line. Oh, and it was a doozey. I could have said something much worse but it was bad and especially to who it went to. Yes, it was insensitive and stupid, but I was venting and sent it to someone who would have understood that. It’s just that I made that one major mistake and sent it to the wrong person. I’m sorry that it happened and keep trying to put it behind me but it won’t go away. I said I was sorry to the person when they called me out on it. I had sent a thing telling them to disregard the e-mail I sent as soon as I realized what had happened. I said I was sorry. Things happen. This is my “troubles on a balloon. ” I’m sorry, but I’m letting go and moving on.

Inevitable Questions

In life, there are those questions which will inevitably come up. As a 3L, the question that comes up more and more often is, "What type of law do you want to practice?" For some, the answer comes right away with a certainty and confidence that I envy. For me, the only answer I've been able to provide is to the effect of waiting to see who will hire me. There are things I like, property law, wills, employment, etc. but nothing that screams "THE ONE." I don't want to be too narrow, especially in the current job market. I also like to know all of my options and preferably have some experience before I make a decision. I'm the girl who had to circle around the entire dining hall, checking out all of my meal options before deciding on what to have for lunch. I don't care that the menu was posted online, I want to at least have a visual on my options before committing. When I go to a buffet, I have to circle around and then even if I've been there before I have to get a "sampler plate" in case that item is off that day. Once I've had a chance to evaluate, then I'll get more than the initial two bites. I like to know my options. I like title searches and working through property issues, but I've never had the actual experience of taking something from begining to end. It sounds good, but is it?

I've come to look at law school as a prep course for the bar prep courses they hope you'll take. Law school prepares you to understand the concepts. The prep courses try to get your chosen state's laws into your head. The bar tests how well that stuck. Specializing calls for further education, either through a school and/or personal research.

I don't know what type of law I'm going to practice. So, for now at least, my answer will be: whoever is willing to hire me.

Stargate

SG-1 - great show, miss it but ended while it was still good

SG- Atlantis - I tried to get into it, but from meh, to bleh.

SG - Universe - haven't seen it yet, but have no desire or curiosity to see it. It's starting to feel like the Disney sequals that don't know when to stop.

ERISA randomness

ERISA is the One Ring of pension plans. Therefore it must be thrown into the fiery pits of Mt. Doom.

love the name

I just saw the commercial for "lightly sauced" vegetables. Good, I like my veggies a little tipsy but not completly sloshed.

interesting fb status

"California's soggy like a 2-hour bowl of organic cornflakes today." ~ Vienna Teng

Say Yest to The Dress!

Okay, so M. Duggar is going to be picky about the dress being a really bright white while looking for something to cover the fact that she's pregnant with her 19th child. Yeah. The whole white dress ship sailed long ago honey. I mean not only is it your 19th child, it's your 19th child while you're on a reality show about your large family.

hmmmm. . .

So, I keep thinking of the rice topped with chickpeas from the kabob place. . . . that was good.

Can They Do That?

So I never took my e-mail off the alum listings thingy. Just perverse curisity about what's going on I guess. I mean I was there for four years. Yesterday I got an e-mail from an alum who is writing book. She said she got the e-mails from the Alumnae Directory. There's an opt out thing but I still kinda feel like it's a spamming abuse. I always thought the directory was for catching up with your third year room mate from ten years ago or something, not soliciting stories for your book. I mean I can see it, but my already annoyed state with the school just spills over to other things.

Okay, going to try to get some work done, take a walk, fix dinner, hope I get to sleep early because I really do need to get up earlier. Why is it that I can get to an appointment an hour early but can't get up in time to make it worthwhile to go to the library on my day off?

Dilemma

I want to leave campus. I want to go out for lunch. I don't want to lose my parking space. Boo. May I should just start grabbing something before I come in mornings and stick it in the fridge.

Boo.

Non-productive weekend

Needed to be productive this weekend but wasn't. Sleep schedule messed up and the attention span of a drunken fruit fly. Blech. Not the weekend to slack off.

Let's Try This Again

I had a google blog but it went poof. . . I can't get at it anymore. So here we go again.